Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. - Samuel Butler
The Question I Must Ask Myself: Do I occasionally or continually cultivate my relationships?
HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?
○ You cannot neglect a relationship and expect it to grow.
○ That's not to say all relationships are the same & need the same amount of time & attention.
§ The nature and purpose of the relationship will determine the energy & time needed to cultivate it.
§ Every relationship is different but fit into one of three categories:
1. Some People Come into Our Lives for a REASON
○ Many relationships are very short & occur for very specific reasons
§ Sometimes they come & then go away forever.
§ Other times they're ongoing but intermittent
○ These relationships need only brief, periodic cultivation.
2. Some People Come into Our Lives for a SEASON
○ Last only for a period of time [a few weeks or as long as several years]
○ Many times they're related to our current circumstances or situations
3. Some People Come into Our Lives for a LIFETIME
○ Ongoing/Permanent thus they require constant cultivation
○ Our closest friendships are most valuable to us, & like anything of value, they cost us something. We can't neglect them and expect them to survive
○ Long-term relationships require us to:
§ Wade thru a few things that are difficult
§ Work for many things that are needed
§ Wait on some things that take time
§ Watch out for those things that can be harmful
§ Wave good-bye to personal things that are selfish
○ These are all aspects of cultivation
Ways to Keep Cultivating Important Relationships
1) Commitment
a. There may be nothing more important in a marriage than a determination that it shall persist. With such a determination, individuals force themselves to adjust & to accept situations which would otherwise seem sufficient grounds for a breakup - Dr. Alfred Kinsey
b. Deep commitment to the relationship is one of the greatest assets all deep relationships
c. What we obtain too cheaply we esteem too little; it is dearness only that gives everything its value
2) Communication
a) It is impossible to learn anything important about anyone until we get them to disagree with us; it is only in contradiction that character is disclosed - Sydney J. Harris
b) Relationships begin with easy communication
c) Sometimes a spark ignites a friendship
d) The relationship deepens with more difficult communication
e) And it Is sustained with intentional communication
3) Friendship
4) Memories
5) Growth
6) Spoiling Each Other
a. If the first law of friendship is that it has to be cultivated, the second law is to be indulgent when the first law has been neglected - Voltaire
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