THE BOB PRINCIPLE: WHEN BOB HAS A PROBLEM WITH EVERYONE, BOB IS USUALLY THE PROBLEM

“All seems infected that the infected spy, as all looks yellow to the jaundiced eye.” – Alexander Pope

The Question I Must Ask Myself: Am I Bob?

HE LOOKS LIKE A BOB TO ME

1. Bob is a problem carrier – the Bobs of the world carry around problems & those problems affect others.

2. Bob is a problem finder – a Bob likes to find problems & expose them to others. He subscribes to Chisholm’s 2nd law (“Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something”)

3. Bob is a problem creator – Bob always creates problems, & he usually involves others in what he’s doing.

4. Bob is a problem receiver – Bob is usually a recipient of problems from others, & he encourages people to bring him more.

WHAT ABOUT BOB?

How to deal with a Bob

1. Respond with a positive comment
· Problem? – Respond with something positive
· Situation? – Find the bright side
· Person? – Point out a positive trait you’ve observed

2. Show your concern for someone being criticized
· Anytime a person’s motives are being critiqued, the best thing is to give him the benefit of the doubt. No one should presume to know the heart of another person. That’s something only God can judge.
· Believe the best in others and express that belief unless the individuals prove otherwise to you personally

3. Encourage steps toward resolution
· Anytime someone bring you a problem he has with another person - & he hasn’t personally addressed the problem with the other person – he’s really engaging in gossip. And if you listen, you are too.
i. The best way to deal with gossip is to direct the complainer to talk to the person with whom he has an issue. Encourage him to meet one-on-one & work things out.
ii. If he brings up the issue again, ask him point-blank: “Have you addressed this with him yet? If the answer is no, refuse to discuss it.

4. Ask Bob to THINK before speaking
· T – Is it True?
· H – Is it Helpful?
· I – Is it Inspiring?
· N – Is it Necessary?
· K – Is it Kind?

5. Keep Bob Away from Others

WHAT IF YOU’RE BOB?
Are you a Bob?
1. Do I often experience some kind of conflict almost everyday?
2. Do people often rub me the wrong way?
3. Do bad things just naturally happen to me?
4. Do I have few friends and wish I had more?
5. Do I always seem to say the wrong thing?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you might be a Bob. If so “THINK” before speaking