We can give no greater gift to others than putting them at ease.
THE QUESTION I MUST ASK MYSELF: Would my friends say that I am easy to approach about difficult issues?
The quality of any first time meeting experience depends largely on their approachability.
Some people treat the idea of becoming approachable as frivolous; it’s a nice thing if one can be bothered to cultivate it. But truly it’s much more than that. It’s a powerful tool in one’s relational toolbox.
DON’T MISS OUT
People miss many opportunities for connection & the chance to build deeper relationships because they do not make themselves approachable.
Approachability has little to do with other people’s boldness or timidity.
It has everything to do with how YOU conduct yourself and what messages you send to others.
“The Art of Getting Along”
“Sooner or later, a man, if he is wise, discovers that life is a mixture of good days and bad, victory & defeat, give & take. He learns that it doesn’t pay to be a too-sensitive soul, that he should let some things go over his head like water off a duck’s back. He learns that he who loses his temper usually loses out, that all men have burnt toast for breakfast now and then, & that he shouldn’t take the other fellow’s grouch too seriously.
He learns that carrying a chip on his shoulder is the easiest way to get into trouble, that the quickest way to become unpopular is to carry tales of gossip about others, that buck-passing always turns out to be a boomerang, that is doesn’t matter so much who gets the credit so long as the job gets done.
He learns that most others are as ambitious as he is, that they have brains as good or better, that hard work, not cleverness, is the secret of success. He learns that no man ever gets to first base alone, and that it is only through cooperative effort that we move on to better things.
He realizes (in short) that the “art of getting along” depends about 98% on his own behavior toward others”
HOW TO PUT PEOPLE AT EASE
1. Personal Warmth – They Truly Like People
“Kindness is a language the dumb can speak and the deaf can hear and understand.” ~ Christian Bovee
2. Appreciation for the Differences in People
3. Consistency of Mood
4. Sensitivity Toward People’s Feelings
5. Understanding of Human Weaknesses and Exposure of Their Own
6. Ability to Forgive Easily & Quickly Ask for Forgiveness
“Since nothing we intend is ever faultless, and nothing we attempt ever without error, and nothing we achieve without some measure of finitude and fallibility we call humanness, we are saved by forgiveness." ~ David Augsburger
7. Authenticity
a. Approachable people are real. They are who they are.
i. As a result they engage with people on a GENUINE level.
ii. They don’t pretend to be someone they’re not.
iii. They don’t go out of their way to hide what they think & feel.
iv. They have no hidden agenda.
v. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
vi. You don’t have to worry about where you stand with them.
b. One of the reasons they can be authentic is that they are SECURE with themselves
i. Secure people don’t feel that they always have to win
ii. Secure people don’t have anything to prove
iii. Security is the most disarming of all traits
c. Approachable people are at ease with themselves, and that puts others at ease
Approachability is the responsibility of the person in authority
THE QUESTION I MUST ASK MYSELF: Would my friends say that I am easy to approach about difficult issues?
The quality of any first time meeting experience depends largely on their approachability.
Some people treat the idea of becoming approachable as frivolous; it’s a nice thing if one can be bothered to cultivate it. But truly it’s much more than that. It’s a powerful tool in one’s relational toolbox.
DON’T MISS OUT
People miss many opportunities for connection & the chance to build deeper relationships because they do not make themselves approachable.
Approachability has little to do with other people’s boldness or timidity.
It has everything to do with how YOU conduct yourself and what messages you send to others.
“The Art of Getting Along”
“Sooner or later, a man, if he is wise, discovers that life is a mixture of good days and bad, victory & defeat, give & take. He learns that it doesn’t pay to be a too-sensitive soul, that he should let some things go over his head like water off a duck’s back. He learns that he who loses his temper usually loses out, that all men have burnt toast for breakfast now and then, & that he shouldn’t take the other fellow’s grouch too seriously.
He learns that carrying a chip on his shoulder is the easiest way to get into trouble, that the quickest way to become unpopular is to carry tales of gossip about others, that buck-passing always turns out to be a boomerang, that is doesn’t matter so much who gets the credit so long as the job gets done.
He learns that most others are as ambitious as he is, that they have brains as good or better, that hard work, not cleverness, is the secret of success. He learns that no man ever gets to first base alone, and that it is only through cooperative effort that we move on to better things.
He realizes (in short) that the “art of getting along” depends about 98% on his own behavior toward others”
HOW TO PUT PEOPLE AT EASE
1. Personal Warmth – They Truly Like People
“Kindness is a language the dumb can speak and the deaf can hear and understand.” ~ Christian Bovee
2. Appreciation for the Differences in People
3. Consistency of Mood
4. Sensitivity Toward People’s Feelings
5. Understanding of Human Weaknesses and Exposure of Their Own
6. Ability to Forgive Easily & Quickly Ask for Forgiveness
“Since nothing we intend is ever faultless, and nothing we attempt ever without error, and nothing we achieve without some measure of finitude and fallibility we call humanness, we are saved by forgiveness." ~ David Augsburger
7. Authenticity
a. Approachable people are real. They are who they are.
i. As a result they engage with people on a GENUINE level.
ii. They don’t pretend to be someone they’re not.
iii. They don’t go out of their way to hide what they think & feel.
iv. They have no hidden agenda.
v. They say what they mean and mean what they say.
vi. You don’t have to worry about where you stand with them.
b. One of the reasons they can be authentic is that they are SECURE with themselves
i. Secure people don’t feel that they always have to win
ii. Secure people don’t have anything to prove
iii. Security is the most disarming of all traits
c. Approachable people are at ease with themselves, and that puts others at ease
Approachability is the responsibility of the person in authority
